Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Maximum Occupancy

So I'm sitting here, eating my lunch in a portable structure which is serving as a temporary mess hall (because the college inexplicably decided to spend millions on demolishing and rebuilding a perfectly good cafeteria instead of using the money for, you know, actual education) when I look up and notice that the sign above the door that says "Maximum Occupancy" seems somewhat odd. I immediately know why. Apparently, the fire-marshal-decreed-safe limit of people in this particular building is 49.

Why 49?

If you know me, even a little bit, you probably know that I have A.M.O.C.D. A term I made up just now that means: Apparent Minor Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. For example, when it comes to volumes on TV's and radios, and such; I have this paranoid thing where the volume must be set to a number that either adds up to ten or is two of the same single digit numbers in a row. So 11, 19, 22, 28, 33, 37, 44, 46 and 55 are all PERFECT but everything else just drives me crazy. I don't know why.

Also, when I'm showering or brushing my teeth my scrubs have to be a factor of eight. When I walk along the sidewalk I try to make it so that I step on every block the same amount of times. Now that I say it out loud, maybe it's more than A.M.O.C.D...

Anyways...

That number 49 is driving me insane right now. I can't understand what kind of sick human would put 49 in stead of just rounding up to 50 like a normal person.

I bet they're hiding just out of view waiting for someone like me to snap and have a nervous breakdown in the middle of the lunchroom. That fucking sadist.

Seriously, what sort of fire marshal walks into a building and evaluates that only 49 people could safely be inside at one time. What sort of logic does he put behind choosing a number like 49. As if 50 would certainly just be far too much.

He must have been insane, deranged, psychotic...

This is driving me crazy.

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