Norman West Rants: Stella Liebeck

Hey guys. It's Norman West here. I told Mr. Battle I'd like to have something on the blag today, and while I haven't really got anything that I've been working on recently, here's something I wrote a while ago that I've never published, and is pretty much timeless. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if it pisses a couple people off. Ah well. Here it is: The Stella Liebeck Rant

It's one of the most notorious lawsuits, if not THE most notorious lawsuit of the past 20 years. Often regarded as absurd and frivolous, the 1994 lawsuit in which 79-year-old Stella Liebeck sued McDonalds and WON after spilling hot coffee onto HERSELF is still cited today in online discussions about ridiculous lawsuits. People with sense know how fucking stupid it is to place an open, piping hot container of liquid in between one's legs. Despite this, at some point in every internet conversation, some smug-ass motherfucker will chime in and say something to the effect of "DERRRRRRPPPP BUT THE COFFE WAZ 40 DEGREEZ 2 HAWT AND SHE SUFRD 3RD DEGREE BURNZ AND HAD 2 GET SKIN GRAFS. MCD'S IZ TEH EEVUL!1!!11!!1!!" They'll proceed to link to the Wikipedia page for the case and act as though they've won an argument.

These people think they're so clever for taking a contrarian viewpoint and for going up against the major corporation. But y'know what? They're fucking morons. While I'm not particularly fond of the McDonald's Corporation, it's foolish to blame them for this incident. Ms. Liebeck spilled the coffee on HERSELF. She PERFORMED THE ACTION THAT CAUSED HER OWN HARM.

"The coffee was too hot," they say. So? Why does the fucking TEMPERATURE matter? Coffee is HOT. Even if it were just 40 degrees cooler, it probably would've still caused burning. It might not have been as bad, but it's commonly understood that hot coffee WILL FUCKING BURN YOU. Even if the temperature DID matter, it's not like someone working at the McDonald's spilled the coffee on her. It was her own clumsiness that caused her injuries.

That all being said, McDonald's did handle the case with douchiness. When Liebeck sought to settle with McDonald's for $20,000 to cover various expenses as a result of the incident, McDonald's offered only $800. Goddamn, McDonald's. You're not exactly shedding your "evil corporate empire" image by offering such a paltry amount. $800 probably wouldn't even cover hospital food. Shit, it would've been less douchey to offer nothing at all.

In conclusion, I'm an asshole who supports an evil corporation and thinks that a little old lady didn't deserve anything after she did something stupid that ended up injuring herself.

Take care,

Norman West