In case you didn't know, this month is February. Hurray for the shortest month! Subway Sandwiches decided to take this wonderfully stupid month and hold a promo to make people like it even more than they inexplicably do. I can guarantee that a board of creative directors sat in a room for like a week, getting paid fat cash a la moadee (Little Miss Sunshine) only to come up with this gem of word play.
Februany! Good job guys, here's your check.
All of this month, any "regular" foot-long sandwich is only $5. As opposed to the original "seven plus one special" sandwich lineup. Don't even get me started on what the fuck "regular" could possibly mean and how they will undoubtedly disappoint a plethora of people by denying them half of the menu.
I don't know about you, but I'll sure as shit be stopping by at least three times this month to try out some of those more expensive subs that look so good, but are just so damn expensive.
If you're reading this and you aren't a gamer, you aren't even kind of a gamer (Oprah), then you must either be family or my ex-girlfriend. If you are one of those two or some weird halfbreed who doesn't game, not even kind of, but is still reading; then I suggest you fly on past this section. It will bore you.
Now that I've sorted my tiny audience into even tinier subgroups, let us continue.
2010 was a big year in gaming for me, in fact I think it was for most of us. There were a lot of big releases and big announcements. The gaming companies are obviously sucking every bit of capability out of the main three gaming consoles and I couldn't be happier.
After taking part in the masterpiece that is Red Dead Redemption my respect for Rockstar Games has been replenished. I admit I felt as though they kind of just raped and bled every last bit of life out of the Grand Theft Auto and Midnight Club series'. Staying true to their dark and crime based games, they've announced a game that I am ridiculously excited for.
L.A. Noire
I see games like Red Dead Redemption and L.A. Noire taking important steps towards video gaming being considered an art form, as it should be in my opinion. There is a fine line between making an awesome game and making an awesome story. Some have great story and cut-scenes to show it, but lack the gaming aspect. Some are awesome and fun to play but lack in the storytelling department. Red Dead Redemption struck an almost perfect chord between them.
I have very high expectations for L.A. Noire, and I will be paying in small increments in the coming month and a half until it's May 17th release. Man, I love GameStop.
Finally, I wanna tell you about a funny effect that shaving my wild facial hair into submission has caused.
For the last two weeks every time I've walked in front of a mirror I've thought and sometimes said, out loud, "damn, I need to shave."
For the last two weeks, every time I thought that, I walked away as if it never crossed my mind.
To say the least my facial hair got pretty crazy and uneven and gross as untamed and unkept facial hair tends to be. It looked bad, this morning I reached my limit and cleaned it up. Got rid of the neckbeard and sporadic cheek hairs, you know, cleaned up. I left my pitiful attempt at a mustache and my chin hair. Soon they will connect and I will be goatee man! I also left some of my sideburns, I like my sideburns.
So now instead of looking like a brutal pirate or vagrant I look somewhat gentler and more trustworthy, apparently. You see everyone seemed to like me more today and it certainly wasn't because I was wearing a pink polo, from my experience that actually tends to piss people off.
I noted, for the first time, that people really treat you different because of that.
Old ladies didn't seem (as) scared of me. Young ladies laughed at me more. Old men gave me less disapproving frowns. Young (apparently gay) men groped me multiple times. It was such a magical day, and I got so much more information out of people, and with such ease.
Note to self: shave when you need to shave.
Thanks for reading, happy Februany.
Cheers!
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