Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Badassery Will Surely Ensue.

Tomorrow is the fourth Thursday this November, and we all know what that means, it's time for Thanksgiving, the lesser of the two religious yet somehow Federal holidays. Since 1942 this day has been legally recognized by the Federal government as a holiday, so if you happen to work for the government, you get the day off!

We all know the story of the pilgrims and their amazing harvest, and how they annually gave thanks and gathered together to eat the surpluses and spoils of another wonderful year of hard work. Technically, this makes Thanksgiving inherently religious in nature. No matter what you were thanking, Jesus, Allah, the crops themselves, or some pagan god of the harvest, by definition it's religious in nature.

I know you'll ask about it so I'll elaborate... You see by giving thanks to anything on the fourth Thursday of November for a bountiful harvest, you're religiously executing a ritual, albeit a yearly one. Yes, even those New Age nudists from HELLA-Nor-Cal who claim so feverishly to be Atheists. As long as they celebrate Thanksgiving as a day of thanks for the harvest, they're being religious.

This isn't a bad thing.

In fact, me being a Christian, I rather like the idea of two Christian holidays being Federally recognized, even though it's arguably unConstitutional (see Amendment 1). For this reason I get kind of pissed off when I remember that some people are devout Atheists. There is this odd movement that I'm becoming more aware of to insist on calling Thanksgiving "Turkey Day."

I find this total fucking bullshit.

If you don't like the fact that Christians won another battle and got Thanksgiving turned into a Federal holiday then go to work or don't celebrate it. I swear the immaturity level of some people is amazing. They don't want to acknowledge its roots (mostly dead ones) but they'll surely celebrate it!

Just call it Thanksgiving fuck dammit. Although the roots of Thanksgiving are inherently religious in nature, that doesn't mean it has to be, or is, anymore. Giving thanks to something for the harvest is religious, but giving thanks to someone who worked for the harvest is not.

Since most of us don't work all year for a harvest in November, we really don't thank something anymore anyways. You can be thankful to and for your family, friends, home, food, wealth, and whatever else. You don't have to thank a God or the Earth or Math or anything like that, just thank the people who made it happen, thank them for not dieing. Thank them for deciding not to murder you because of your retarded choices to degrade a good hearted holiday by replacing it's name with a fucking bird.

Fucking relax. Be thankful that I don't come over there and back-hand your ass, at the very least.

Now that I got all my fury about the interstate Atheist conspiracy to degrade Thanksgiving out, I feel much better. Thanks for reading this far.

A big part of Thanksgiving day is the football. Somehow it just perfectly captures the spirit. Thank God those guys care more about the money than their families. All day long and into the night, men, their sons, and their daughters' boyfriends/fiancées/husbands will gather around the boob tube and watch teams across leagues and levels play the all-American game.

Well, lucky us! This year's Thanksgiving games for the pros totally fucking suck.

12:30P EST --- NE Patriots (8-2) at DE Lions (2-8) on CBS
4:30P EST --- NO Saints (7-3) at DA Cowboys (3-7) on FOX
8:20P EST --- CN Bengals (2-8) at NY Jets (8-2) on NFLN

Fortunately, we have NCAA Football to save the day, err weekend. For all you Arizonafags out there (I know there's a lot of you) The Big Game for the Territorial Cup is this weekend! Also, this weekend #2 Auburn (11-0) takes on #9 Alabama (9-2) in the Iron Bowl, with BCS positions on the line, it will be one hell of a game!

Finally, I want to discuss the real meaning of Thanksgiving. Being thankful. First of all, want to thank you for reading and if you read consistently, thank you so much for the support and readership. Makes me feel useful and proud to be all of your friends. I'm thankful for my family (even though they don't read) and I'm thankful for all of my best friends. I want to thank all of the people who read my tweets and get mad at me when I stop. I want to thank all the people who put up with my millions of updates that personally get sent to their phones. I want to thank my dogs and my neighborhood animals for being entertaining. I want to thank Jenn Sarina, my ex-girlfriend, for being a constant source of inspiration and a thorn in the side of my brain (I can't stop thinking about her) it keeps me moving forward and gives me something to strive for.

Last, and most importantly I want to thank God for everything, and I mean everything. As dark and cold as things get for me in my head, I can always step back and see that it's all here because of Him, whoever or whatever He is and it's all so wonderfully, masterfully, complex, limitless, confusing and beautiful.

I probably won't post tomorrow, unless something big happens. I promised to post on Friday but it'll likely be short. Remember to tell your friends and check in often, it keeps me going.

Thank you all. Tomorrow's Thanksgiving! Badassery will surely ensue!

Comment below and tell me what you are thankful for.

North Korea Just Accidentally The Whole Island of Yeonpyeong! Wat do?

Something important has occurred, and I'm gonna rant about it! Wanna hear it, here it goes...

As many of you may already know, North Korea just accidentally the whole island of Yeonpyeong, South Korea. In case some of you have been slacking off on your history homework, let me assure you that this a pretty big deal (like me, ZING).

Quick history lesson!

N. Korea and S. Korea used to be one nation, but then Korea suffered a severe case of acute schizophrenia which was, The Korean War. At the end of the war the two sides of Korea decided to draw a big-ass fucking line right down the middle of them and declared it demilitarized (even though they both have huge fucking armies on both sides basically ready to bum-rush across the border and fuck shit up at a moments notice). Since then, 1953, the two sides have basically been having a really intense staring contest.

This would be all fine and dandy if it were really just about N. Korea and S. Korea. The fact is, this battle is being fought by two small powers, but they have puppet masters. In the Korean War of the 50's it was communism versus capitalism, the USSR versus America. Today, it's China versus America, seeing as the USSR disbanded and left Russia a bankrupt fucking pit (good job guys).

In case you're really out of the loop. Let me tell you that China and America are not on the friendliest of terms. In fact I'm almost positive that the only reason we tolerate each other is because we know we can't live without the other. China and the US are those two teenage girls who love to talk and hang out but behind each others back, can't STAND each other. Yeah, China and the US are teenage girls... good metaphor Howie.

Anyways.

Now that we have all that back-story cleared up and in view, let's jump to the current news!

North Korea just accidentally the whole island of Yeonpyeong! Sometime around 2PM on Monday N. Korean artillery opened fire on the S. Korean island. They launched "dozens (of millions)" of rounds and S. Korea immediately retaliated by scrambling F-16 fighter jets and returning fire with "over 80(thousand)" rounds of artillery fire.

The whole island was evacuated and so far it seems like nearly two (hundred) S. Korean soldiers died with many more injured, alongside numerous civilian injuries. Pictures showed the island ablaze with plumes of smoke rising from homes.

Officials are saying this is the biggest tantrum N. Korea has thrown since the war ended back in '53. S. Korean officials out of Seoul are warning the nation-child that is N. Korea that another sucker punch like this and they will suffer "enormous retaliation," Likely in the form of all-American weaponry.

Of course, according to N. Korea, it's not a sucker punch at all. Apparently, the S. Korean navy was participating in a live fire drill in the area. N. Korean officials had warned the southerners about firing in the disputed waters. That being said, the S. Korean ships were never in N. Korean waters and fired away from land. This after officially assuring the North that it was a drill, and they would not be harmed in any way.

North Korea decided to open fire on a civilian island anyways.

What I find totally hilarious is the reaction by the rest of the world. South Korea, although outraged, is showing a ridiculous amount of restraint. Like a parent at the grocery store, trying to stay calm, but firm, right after their little tyrant in the cart knocked over three jars of tomato sauce. I have read many quotes by officials stating that this is literally just North Korea throwing a little temper tantrum to get attention.

Perhaps the best way to fight these fuckers is to just ignore them.

I stand by my words when I say that North Korea itself is NO THREAT to the United States. Have you seen what America has done to organized military in the past 20 years? Of course you haven't because no-one cares, because it's not fucking interesting. You wanna know why it's not interesting? It's because the United States literally decimates its enemies on the battlefield. The only place where we fail is when the population fights back, or when the enemy engages in guerrilla warfare.

The United States has enough military cojones to slap the shit out of N. Korea in a month, I don't give a fuck if they have the worlds second largest standing army, we're 30+ years ahead of them in technology. We can rain flaming fucking hell from the skies, without EVER being seen or heard. We can rain flaming fucking hell from the skies from hundreds of miles away. To be honest, I'm almost positive we could do that from here in the United States.

The only thing standing between us and spanking North Korea into fetal submission, is China!

China is the real threat, and every time North Korea slaps it's southern brother it runs back underneath China for protection.

I hope N. Korea decides to continue and attack S. Korea for retarded-ass reasons. I hope they prove without a shadow of a doubt that they are in the wrong, and I hope they get cocky enough to try and pick a real fight. I hope the whole world says, "Wow, you're being a dick." and turns it's back on N. Korea. I hope that China has to decide to either defend the blatantly wrong or turn the cold shoulder in order to protect it's own economic interests.

I really want to see this happen, because I'm fucking tired of hearing about Kim Jong Il and his stupid bullshit.

Go South Korea! Go America! Go Sanity!